Journey 2 Fit {Day 79-87} Feeling Light

So I've been doing Zumba for a while now and definitely feel the change within me.  My spirit is light, my weight is lighter and the endorphin level is high.  This is all good.

Things are becoming clearer to me and choices are becoming easier to make.  For example, last night, date night with hubby we went out to dinner at Applebee's.  I had there under 550 cal dinner, so did hubbs.  But what struck me was that I was stuffed!!! 

I over ate.  I have never had that feeling before.  I recognized that this was something different.  That my body had done some changing.  Now I know what that feels like.  The abuse I was doing to myself.

It was enlightening.

The uncomfortable feeling helped me know my limits and now I can make better choices.

I love this journey I am on.  I love what I am learning about me. 

This week I gain 1 lbs...I am thinking that is muscle, because I definitely feel stronger. :-)

Journey 2 Fit {Day 58-78} Closing that Chapter

I haven't given up if that is what you have been thinking.

VERY far from that.  I have been workin' it out!!

This past Christmas I got Zumba for the Wii and it has been nothing less than REMARKABLE!  It is so much fun and I look forward to doing it everyday.  Since my last post I have lost about 6 lbs in 20 days workout.

Another thing I have been doing is find my peace in my fractured relationship with my mother, sister and father. 

It's been one month today, since I last spoke with my mother or father and even longer since I spoke with my sister.

That is the most difficult part of this whole journey.  In an earlier post, I talked about how the lbs. found a home on my 5'3" frame all due to emotional situations that I allowed to affect me NOW.

Not anymore, I can't afford it.

In my, what I believe, is my last visit back east, I was pushed beyond my limits and I can never, nor will I ever do that again.  I wish them well, I hope for prosperity, good health and joy for them, but I know I can't be a part of it.  My bad dealings with them will not be added lbs. on my frame.  I think of them, but I can't hurt myself in order to help them. 

The whole experience has brought to light that I am not important, and really haven't been that important in their lives.  I have extended myself to them, but it has never been reciprocal.  I had to let go and move on.  It's hard and it hurts, but it is what it is and I have turned to exercise and making better food choices to deal with the depressed feeling I have.  Luckly, I have seen the positive results to deal with the stress of losing yet more people I love.  Another sad chapter in my life I will have close. 

I now depend on my husband and boys to fill me up....and Zumba...they are all I have now.