Friday, January 20, 2012

Journey 2 Fit {Day 58-78} Closing that Chapter

I haven't given up if that is what you have been thinking.

VERY far from that.  I have been workin' it out!!

This past Christmas I got Zumba for the Wii and it has been nothing less than REMARKABLE!  It is so much fun and I look forward to doing it everyday.  Since my last post I have lost about 6 lbs in 20 days workout.

Another thing I have been doing is find my peace in my fractured relationship with my mother, sister and father. 

It's been one month today, since I last spoke with my mother or father and even longer since I spoke with my sister.

That is the most difficult part of this whole journey.  In an earlier post, I talked about how the lbs. found a home on my 5'3" frame all due to emotional situations that I allowed to affect me NOW.

Not anymore, I can't afford it.

In my, what I believe, is my last visit back east, I was pushed beyond my limits and I can never, nor will I ever do that again.  I wish them well, I hope for prosperity, good health and joy for them, but I know I can't be a part of it.  My bad dealings with them will not be added lbs. on my frame.  I think of them, but I can't hurt myself in order to help them. 

The whole experience has brought to light that I am not important, and really haven't been that important in their lives.  I have extended myself to them, but it has never been reciprocal.  I had to let go and move on.  It's hard and it hurts, but it is what it is and I have turned to exercise and making better food choices to deal with the depressed feeling I have.  Luckly, I have seen the positive results to deal with the stress of losing yet more people I love.  Another sad chapter in my life I will have close. 

I now depend on my husband and boys to fill me up....and Zumba...they are all I have now.

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