Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Not Trying to REINVENT the Wheel

I am trying to make things a bit more healthy and trying to find good foods that will work for me.  But I have been searching the net wanting to get good wholesome REAL foods to include in my diet that does not have gobs of sugar and fat.

One thing I wanted was a oil-free, sugar-free granola

CAN"T FIND ONE!  So very frustrating.  So I have to create my own.  I have NEVER made granola.  Heck I don't even know the basics of a recipe.  All I do know is that there is oatmeal, nuts and berries.

I am going to try my own recipe with agave nectar and some of my homemade sugar free apple sauce, and then I am going to use my dehydrator to "cook" it.

Do you have any recipes you want me to try and if I like them I will post to them to the recipe page?

Friday, June 24, 2011

Oh NO...Not the RIDES!!!

Being overweight carries with it so many mind games.  Often I think that I can't fit onto this ride.  Or I will have to buy an extra seat on a flight.  This is very hard to accept that you are or may be that big.  Even when it is not the case, as I have not reached the level of unhealthy, it is still something that races through my mind EVERYDAY!!!

I can hardly "weight" for the day when I don't think about my weight.

Today is not that day....anyway....

Yesterday, the family went to Lagoon Amusement Park.  It was fun in the end, but the thought of riding the rides...okay fitting on the rides was not fun, really down right nerve racking.

I did ride all the rides.  And enjoyed them too.  Still I was uncomfortable thinking that everyone would breakdown because of me.  Just thinking of the humiliation of being told either, "Sorry Ma'am your just to BIG," had me sweating the pounds off as I stood there.  Luckily, that never happened. 

But I did see if happen to one lady who was on the ride and two of the operators tried to latch her in the ride but couldn't.  Shamefully, she got off the ride and her young daughter rode the ride without her in complete terror. 

That was the saddest thing I have ever witnessed and I don't want to be that lady.

As side note.  The husband noticed that he was getting a bit pudgy.  He is, but I hope that I can help him curb the situation before it turns into my problem.  At the moment, he only needs to lose about 20lbs.

Thursday, June 16, 2011


149/99 Blood Pressure + 243.5 lbs =
This morning, I had a cold hard shocker.  I went shopping to pick up a few things and I came by one of those blood pressure machines they have just sitting there.  I try them every once in a while and get up with a smile on my face PROUD that everything is in check

Not today.

I couldn't move.  A lump formed in my throat and hot tears filled eyes.  Shocked by the numbers.  I have never had numbers like that.  I have prided myself with having a reading of about 96/64.  And there I sat realizing that 149/99 was not good.

I immediately thought about my kids and how they will have to bury me soon, if I don't get this down.  My second thought was I don't want to be like my mom.

I love my mom, but she is suffering from a lot of health issues and I don't want to be where she is.

I have to change I need help, but "I" to change.  I think I will be going back to my vegetarian ways.  Things were better then and I learned how to feed my body right as well as my family.

Thursday, June 9, 2011


Since my last post I have been looking at "diets".  And of course I don't have to look to far for the "best" one. 

There is the Atkins Diet, which scares me with all the fat in it.~Don't think I will be trying that one.  The Dukan Diet, which I haven't tried but very curious about.  Weight Watchers, wasn't that successful with it.  I was on Phentremine (just half of the phen-phen), it worked and gave me energy, but eventually it wained.  I have to admit, I did the bulimic thing for a while, but when I learned about the ruining your teeth info, that ended that.  Myfitnesspal was the best one, not because I lost a lot of weight, but that it really was a lifestyle change program that made you accountable and with the social network of friends and kept me on track, but I let go of that when school started to get hectic.

Heck I even thought that once I had my breast reduction the fat would just go too...Nope didn't happen.  So with all of that what have learned. 

Healthly weight is a life-long journey.  You are only done when you're dead.  And if I don't get this under control I will have cut my journey short.  I will have given up.  And I need to finish.

But what do I do?  Do I see a surgeon and ask him or her how much I would need to lose for them to do the rest...or at least rid me of the leftover skin.  Do I workout 5-6 hours a day like the Biggest Losers, which I actually tried out for TWICE, and was told NOT BIG ENOUGH!!!"  Are they kidding!?!?  Do I just continue with my plithera of workout videos: Insanity, DWTS, Taebo etc.?  Pay some enormous amount of money to a personal trainer, that I can't afford?  Or do I accept that this is, what it is?

This is hard...not knowing which way to go and not really seeing any help coming my way.

Support anyone?  Anyone out there willing to be my professional personal trainer/nutritionist, for free and make me your project?  Let me be your success story.  I'm willing to give you a try if you are willing to be dedicated to helping me get on track and lose this weight so I can be here for my kids and husband.
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