Monday, May 16, 2011

There's Always a ????

  • 5:54 am
  • 4 minutes til the alarm goes off for David to up and get going
  • I stare at the red numbers....
I lay here in bed trying to think about what I will be doing this day.  No immediate plans, just blank.  A stay-at-home mom who is overweight, over stressed and out of sorts.  I look over to see my dreamboat of a husband, slumbering and I wonder...

How did I get here?  When did I turn off the lights for myself?  How long will he stay with this mess of a wife and mother?

I know I am afraid to hear the answers, so I put on a big front of happy, intelligent, strong and clever...all of which I am not.

This blog is not a bash to myself blog, it is my search for the real me.  The 'one' that will love and can handle being loved.  The 'one' that can handle compliments and accomplishments.  The 'one' that can own success and failure.  The 'one' who is worthy of friends and friendships.

So, now I will go and sit and meditate on the question...How did I get here?

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