Thursday, August 4, 2011

Poison LBS.

There are lbs. that can kill you and they come in the form of stress.  I think I am a stress eater.  Right now I really want to go and binge on a ton of something. 

My family (extended) brings so much stress to my feet and the lbs. keep coming.  My mother is a little woman who is carrying 100+ poisonous lbs. and I see her dying everyday.

It scares me.

She's dying from the stress of a troubled daughter and grandkids.  She wants to take care of herself, but she is killing herself to save a daughter who won't put forth real effort to get better.  This is killing my mother...and I can't save her.  She just told me she was in court because she couldn't make rent.  She is at risk of losing yet another place to live, due to trying to save my sister.

I am getting to the point of willing to lose my only full sibling in order to save her.

The stress is putting lbs. on me and...

I don't want to be like my mother.

Her life is hard and very sad and the lbs. keep coming.

She, my mother, asked me take care of my sister if something were to happen to her...I told her I couldn't and wouldn't. 

I would become my mother.

Now my sadness has kicked in. 

I have a lot going for me.  I should be happy.  I am 3 semesters away from my Psychology Bachelors.  I have 2 healthy sons, and 1 husband, who adores me.  I should be saying GO, NOW BE FABULOUS!!!

But, I can't...poisonous lbs. are threatening to take away my mother and me. 

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