Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Not Feeling Like the Person I AM on the Inside

So for past few weeks I have been trying to figure out this strange feeling I have been I am not pregnant, although I feel like I am the size of a lady having triplets.

But I digress...anyway...

I feel like I may have the disorder they talk about on all the various doctor shows about people (anorexics usually) seeing themselves as grossly huge when they are way to skin and bones, but I see the opposite.  I know I am obese, but I don't see myself in the mirror as being that heavy. 

The only time I have said, WOW girl, you are big is when I see myself in pictures.  My face seems huge in the photograph, but what I see in the mirror is NOT big at all. 

Recently, I just noticed that I am getting the dreaded double chin.  <<<PRIMAL SCREAM>>>

Today I was walking from the bank and I noticed how my body felt as I was going back to my car...

I felt the feminine sway of my hips, yet I knew that it didn't look right.

I don't like this feeling of my sexy, sensual self suffocating under layers of fat.

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